WUHAN: THOUSANDS OF MOSQUITOES INOCULATED WITH VIAGRA ESCAPE FROM HIGH-SECURITY LABORATORY

Dr. Wenzi Ying Yin Jing, head researcher at the institute, warned that the most disturbing side effects of a bite from one of the escaped mosquitoes would be a physiological phenomenon in which the penis becomes firm, engorged, and enlarged.

“The effects of one mosquito bite can last up to forty-eight hours and symptoms include an increase in libido, sexual arousal, and possibly a very, very large erection,” Dr. Wenzi Ying Yin Jing told the press during a press conference.

One 87-year-old Wuhan resident who was hospitalized this week is believed to have been bitten by one of the genetically modified mosquitoes.

“I have never watched so much pornography in my entire life,” the 87-year-old man told the press after sustaining an erection for the last 72 hours.

Another patient was also admitted at the Wuhan Hospital but thrown out by security agents after walking around the hospital naked and masturbating openly in public.

“The young man felt an uncontrollable sexual urge towards men, women, animals, and even plants and showed symptoms which could be attributed to this particular mosquito,” one doctor explained.

Other experts have expressed fears that the Wuhan high-security laboratory, where testing on a number of different viruses such as rabies, HIV, and the coronavirus occurs daily, could have spread amongst the escaped genetically modified mosquitoes and create a super virus.